You are destroying your child by allowing hir to think

Feb 29 2012 Published by under Uncategorized

Research shows that children whose parents who allow them to think end up socially maladjusted in middle school.  Sometimes they don't get a date to prom.  They're also not considered physically attractive by their peers.

Kids who spend time reading don't spend enough time watching TV.  Even if they get in some screen time every day, they do not have enough to truly keep up with their peers.

Kids need lots of sleep.  If your child isn't getting the average amount of sleep needed, then you are harming your child's mental abilities.  Having your child lie awake with no distractions in a crib is better for hir than allowing hir to play on the computer.  We all know that unsupervised screen time is harmful to children.

Allowing one's child to think is also harmful to parents.  They are branded, "pushy," and socially condemned if they are egotistical enough to talk about their children instead of quietly listening when others talk about theirs.

This public service announcement brought to you by disgruntled grumpies.

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7 responses so far

  • becca says:

    Yes, but the key question is: am I destroying hir by allowing hir to glue hir poster?

    • arlenna says:

      I saw the best bands of my generation applied by magic marker to drywall.

      • arlenna says:

        or was it the worst?

        • becca says:

          best minds, worst bands
          (I had to google to check)

          "who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war,
          who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull,"

          those were the days!
          When the academy got blasted for what it actually does- promoting materialistic, rabid capitalism and thereby destroying the best minds of each generation; and not for what it doesn't do outside of the wetdream fantasies of Elmer Gantry politicians- promoting free sexuality and communism and thereby converting Good Obedient Christians into Satan's commie-liberal-facist-homosexual-orgy army.
          /vaguely relevant hijack

  • Crystal Voodoo says:

    Just when I thought that I could possibly be normal...

  • Anon says:

    maybe calling your child "hir" is the real issue

    • Anon says:

      Yes. If you give your child a more specific gender identity when you refer to them to random strangers on the internet, they will grow up and be utterly confused as to their identity on the internet.